so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
