More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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