Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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