The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
