also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
