He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
