Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
