I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wear drunk well.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
