the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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