you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
