yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
