I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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