Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
