I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
