no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
