I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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