you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
