get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
