There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
