Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
