this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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