her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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