My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
