So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
