We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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