Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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