And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
