i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
