I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Randomize
