We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
