so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he shaved USA in his pubs
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
