This girl is more easily done than said...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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