the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
