Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
