i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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