ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
