you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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