Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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