And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
