So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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