just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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