thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
