And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
