i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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