did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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