I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
