Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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