if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
