So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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