I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
