So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
