420 ftw
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
