butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
