"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
