16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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