I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
